Lateral wishes..

Time changes and so does situations. And with it changes the sense of right and wrong…  good and bad…  A few days back I was talking to a friend of mine, and we realized how drastically things have changed for most of us. This is my attempt to understand when it actually changed.. a particular time, a particular incident, or was it a slow transition as inevitable as the ageing of hair and lowering of libido.

Not so long ago, writing a good exam meant completely different from what it is now. In school leaving out a part of the syllabus was unthinkable, and not attempting 5 marks in a paper was an unpardonable sin.  In +2, things changed, there came a thing called JEE. I personally used it as one of the biggest excuse for neglecting the boards (which was lame, I admit, but at that time, I had other priorities-the fairer sex, n yes I suffered big time). Now that I’m in college the scenario has changed. The people who crib for that 1 particular question they couldn’t answer (and would hence lose 5 marks) are the minority, while I find myself surrounded by the people with contented faces saying all that they studied the night before came luckily.  Completing the syllabi is not an option any more- not when u start studying a day or two before the exam. Class tests go well only if you are lucky (you sit beside the right guy, n the proff understands your plight and leaves you alone) and in viva it is the competition of how well u can smile and say some crap and just hope.

Teachers have also changed. Gone are the days when a teacher would personally take interest in the life of all the students. (I personally remember most ma’ams knew me on personal level.. I was a kiddo, but they knew about my mood swings and dealt with it, n they even came to my house on a few occasions.  A ma’am even went so far ahead as to ask about my personal problems in 12^th and trust me, it helped.) At college the best u can expect is that the proff will know your name and face. Will talk to you sweetly (very rarely so, and very few proffs actually talk) if they meet you outside college campus.

N finally the people who around me. There was no animosity around then. All of them need not be the best of buddies, but we didn’t hate each other either. Exceptions were there, but that was merely aberrations from the norm more than anything else. Things were a lot simpler as well. We fought when we wanted to, settled our scores, but the issues got dealt with - once and for all. How I miss those days.  In college, second year onwards, it has been a tough on this aspect. I will not be elaborating more on this, but I sincerely wish people were simpler, spoke their mind without sugar coating their words.

And now about the fairer sex.  I rememeber liking a girl when I was in standard three…  how old was I then?Nine or Ten perhaps.. I don’t know what to call it.. but it was kinda sweet. As I grew older, things got complicated like all other things around me. It became more difficult to ‘understand’ them. Soon there were things which we didn’t understand. N then we were enlightened (courtesy a Moral Science Book in standard 7th : those who studied in ICSE boards can probably relate to what I say). N then few people like me lost their senses and screwed up their life while the more intelligent ones continued in their sensible ways.. At college, with the abysmal male: female ratio, and short of options ( A gtalk status message read : Looks are inversely proportional to brains ) people have been ‘forced’ to play the ‘settler’ than the ‘reacher ’ ( Courtesy ‘How I Met Your Mom’ Series), and I guess that says a lot  about the whole issue. It’s all about Love, Sex, Money and Dhoka though.. I’m not sure how many of the mushy couples who go around all starry eyed will finally end up together later. I’m not even sure whether they want to actually. Probably they believe in being ‘practical’ and have a nice time in college and outside. Probably it is more about what ‘others’ think..and  if nothing else, it is just about the hormones. Strange how I finally have realized that I can never get back the ‘sweet’ liking as a 9 year old.. it’s lost.. it’s way more complicated now.

Just wish things were different.. I  wish I could love the things that are taught in class once more.. I wish the results mattered more to me .. The people were less complicated, so that I could trust them just like that…  there were no double meaning to words, Proffs were more like extended family, and cared the way a close relative would.. Wish I could like a girl and not care whether she liked me or not.. could be at peace with myself for whatever was happening around.. I know these are never meant to be again, but why should that stop me from hoping..

(I forget the last time I felt brave

I just recall insecurity

Cause it came down like a tidal wave

And sorrow swept over me

-Owl City)

A word to ALL

I was always irritated to see the advertisements in the websites. It is funny that now my own blog also has such advertisements. I am here not to make money. I just want to know how this thing- Google Adsense works, and how much money people make by it. I guess unless someone is already famous, he/she cannot make much money as a blogger. Exceptions are always there though like the famous Fake-IPL-Player who became famous overnight :P But exceptions only prove the law, eh?

I shall experiment with this adsense stuff for a few months to see how it generates revenue for a below par blogger like me. Meanwhile I hope the visitors don’t get irritated (like I used to) and bear with my whims and fancies.

I also appreciate people like Twisha, Rishi ,Sharaya, Teko (Suvro), Piudi who keeps letting me know about my poems. To the ones who keep dropping in their comments via g-talk (though I would have preferred if all you guys made it a point to use the comments section) : thanks for the insights and encouragement. J

This rhyming stuff is damn difficult. It takes a hell a lot of a time and concentration. I found the blank verses much easier. All the poems took about 1.5-2 hours. ‘The Elusive Dream’ probably a little more (but it’s much longer than the rest). I found I express myself well in the blank verses, and I had to sometimes compromise with my feelings while trying to maintain a rhyming pattern.

One of my friend said that I probably copy from some other source or else writing poems in such short time is very difficult. But he himself has never written a poem. I would like to know from the people who writes poems about how much time they take and whether I should spend a little more time with the poems so that they are more polished or anything of that sort. As of now, after I finish with a poem, I do not go back and post it after a making a little or no correction/changes here and there. Do let me know guys.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Cheers,

Knottyknight

P.S: I am indeed naughty. (truly-madly-deeply :P)

Why am I rambling?

Am I too talkative? I don’t think so. Then why ramble? After all to ramble is to talk endlessly in a desultory fashion eh? Well there are quite a few reasons behind this.

Supposedly these ramblings are going to hold me in good stead in the upcoming years as I step into the corporate world (taking it for granted that I will make it there sooner rather than later) where the SMS lingo will do me no good and I need to write proper grammatical English language. I hope this will negate the effect of sending approximately 500 text messages to friends every week. In fact, this blog is an attempt to type consistently formal English without typos. Obviously the Microsoft word is a big help with all its features which constantly keeps pointing the errors I make as I type! :D

I am also hoping that I will get into the habit of writing on various topics once more. The last time I wrote a proper essay/short story was way back in the year 2004 when I wrote my English-1 paper during ICSE. That’s a tad too long. Isn’t it?

Lastly, in the past couple of months I have developed a deep disliking about the way I spend time with my laptop. The amount of time I waste is just incredible and probably there are a huge number of fellows who do the same without realising it. The internet is a huge source of information, but it seems I hardly spend 5% of my time doing things that would help me in future. So blogging is just another way for me to keep me off from the socialising sites. I had had enough of socialising I guess, though I will still keep visiting them but with much lesser vigour and zest.

I have decided to keep my posts simple. I attended a lecture a few days back, and to quote the teacher, ‘There’s nothing as unimpressive as to use long many syllable words’. I have decided to follow his advice and use the simplest English I can, to write short simple sentences (this one’s getting pretty long already :P), and to present my thoughts lucidly. Humour is not my cup of tea, but I shall be trying that too from time to time.

I hope I come good at my decisions and write regularly juggling my busy schedule and don’t disappoint myself. Nothing works like criticism whether positive or negative. If any of you reading this has anything to say, please help yourself in the comments section. I know most people are lazy, but I guess some are different too. That’s it for now, have a long day ahead waiting for me.

Till the next time, Adiós.