I had promised myself I won’t be writing till I complete all my exams, but the thing I have in my head has to be vented out somewhere, and I guess this is the place. I’m by and large a very self centered person. Matters which have very direct connotations with my own life dictate how I behave, talk and laugh. My blog is testimony to the fact that I write mostly about my life, my muses rarely caring to portray the other side of the story. Today however, this is someone else’s story which holds no long lasting significance in my life. Here it goes.
Dear X,
I wish I could say all this to you myself in person; but my hands are tied and my lips are sealed by that weird thing I know not how to describe or define. If you were more than just an acquaintance I still might have taken a chance, but sadly you aren’t.
Remember what Steve Waugh said to Gibb’s when he dropped his catch in the semifinal of 1999 Worldcup? He said, ‘You dropped the cup, mate!’ Same goes for you too. You will never know what you missed, ignored and in turn lost.
I had a beautiful dream – a dream where I could see you two hands in hands in the final semester; had planned so many ways to tease you people; to make a fool of you- all that matters no more. I’m filled with just a sense of anger, pity and may be remorse for what could have been. If you only you had seen the way I do.
What irks me even more is your nonchalance. Being a guy, I’m unable to fathom the reasons behind your actions. Your actions, though always erratic, at least had the semblance of dignity till you chose to downplay the whole thing by calling ‘it’ was all ’Aise hi’! All that marathon texting spree was just ‘Aise hi’? Or were the long distance calls made ‘Aise hi’? And, if at all, it was actually ‘Aise hi’, why then? The vacations are indeed long and boring. More so, if you are at home with no places to go and nothing to do. But couldn’t you find someone closer to home? I seriously detest you for whatever you did mate. What do you call the ultra-secretive meets? Were they also just ‘Aise-hi’? You couldn’t confide in your best of friends, made great efforts to hold clandestine meet-ups, all for this? I think she deserved better, much better.
I have done some darned things in my life too - made some dreadful decisions, misjudged people dreadfully, befriended people who were never meant to last -so I’m in no position to judge your actions, but I hope you realize what you lost someday. Hopefully when true realization dawns, remorse will sweep through you. But then it will be too late. And I’m sure it will serve you right. On the other hand, I’m happy it was over even before it started. Probably whatever happens is for some greater good.
P.S: The two persons I’m referring to aren’t my friends; they happen to be a friend of a good friend. I had this weird contempt for the guy because I knew what going on the whole time and felt whatever he did was a sordid thing to do. I don’t know whether Mr. Jackass will read this – or even if he does –whether he will realize that I’m referring to him. I sincerely hope he does.
P.P.S: Well, the post was written some long time back.. I’m so happy I was proved wrong in so many ways which I didn't even think of.
